Well this would be my post and my first compo on this blog hope ya all like it and pls comment...
"Mom I am Going to the newly opened drug store with Jane!"Tess shouted,"do you need me to buy anything from the supermarket for you?""Well yes...Help me to buy some panadol and the money would be on the table,"replied Tess' mother.Tess took the money and went out. It was a scorching hot day and the ponds glittered invitingly.Tess and Jane met each other in the bookshop next to the drug store,"Tess you go ahead while I buy a few pens,"said Jane.
After hearing that Tess went towards the drug store suddenly out of nowhere,Tess saw two men looking around.The two men were wearing a long coat,a cap and sunglasses.Tess found them very suspicious as they were wearing a coat on a hot day.Tess smelled something fishy and decided to follow them.The men led her into the drug store-men's corner.Out of the corner of Tess' eye she saw a men took a packet of drugs place it to the other men's pocket.
When Tess saw that,she ran as fast as lighting as she darted towards the men.Suddenly,she tripped and the men were out of sight as if magic was in work.As fast as lighting,Tess went to the nearest cashier and told the cashier what had happened soon the cashier burst into laughter and pointed to a hidden camera and then continued saying that they were filming a movie so that means that Tess might have tripped on one of the cables connecting to a hidden camera.Very soon Tess too burst into laughter and bought the panadol and quickly ran to Jane and told her the incident.And soon Jane burst into laughters with tears almost coming out of her eyes while walking home toghether.
It was the most fun she had in the whole year.
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Bubble Trouble
Leo Steel
8 comments:
Compo vry interesting. But you accidentaly put wrong names, so made me a bit confused, overall quite gd but i want to tell you that there is no such thing as a drugs corner in a supermarket since its illegal
yarh i noe there are many types of drugs you noe got panadol and many more
yeah larh the drugs store meaning medicine shop... &lols this compo funny lol lol. but if u rly concentrate on the composition & like take ure time writing it with more beautiful phrases & wahtever.., thn maybe will be GOOD ((: anyways tag mie blog..
hey.. you want me to link ure compo blog? meaning this one? you have main blog or not? i wan to link that one xD i also gt main blog you know right? hehs..
i thought the name is suppose 2 b betty?
Ms Tan said not to copy the compos she gave at school so i write new story n pls write in my cbox the one tha pops up whene u click it n pls link my blog
Dear Amabel,
Great effort. I like the plot. Very interesting. Keep this up. It will be good to add in more beautiful phrases that are related to your plot. The ending can also be improved by showing me that the men were filming instead of telling me. Please note that 'scorching' is spelt wrongly.
is funny. LOL. can write during compo exams and let the marker LOL. ERM, the last sentence got a bit of problem- too many 'and's and the sentence structure a bit unclear. but this compo is quite gd
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